Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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