You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
