My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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