I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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