id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
