i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
