Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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