Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
