is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
