thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
