Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
