wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
