Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
