He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
