I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
