if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
