Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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