omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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