Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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