I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
