I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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