i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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