What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
