Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
