This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just found puke in my bra..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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