I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
