I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
