Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
