Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
