I love having hate sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
