how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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