Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
