tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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