Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
