You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
