Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
