so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Mom said you looked used
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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