we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
