I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
