This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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