The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize