She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
