I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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