Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
