Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Vodka?
Forever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
