it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
