isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
