would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
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