last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
