If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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