All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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