Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
