found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
