What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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